Growth in the Unknown

So , personal writing post for today. I don’t really know what “m going to talk about in these things before I write them. I kinda just go with the flow of things and see where my writing takes me . Its like a journey , into my own subconscious. Usually it’s not able to be perceived by us. but if I go into a state of zen while I write I shut off my conscious brain . And my subconscious and conscious tend to switch places. It’s quite an interesting phenomenon. My meditation practices have a lot of influence on my writing.. One thing that is similar during my meditation and this writing is that during the process , my mid is blank and i go into a flow state. much like when i freestyle rap. for those that don’t know what that is. It’s when you say lines that rhyme with each other. Or they don’t . and you “spit” it onto the beat of the music. ( spitting means to speak your words for those that don;t know street lingo) . The time of the day when I can write freely is the time i look froward to the most . Its when my mind can be truly free. Not restricted by anything . Not bound by rules. Just freedom. That’s what we all search for is it not? Freedom . Freedom from rules , freedom from attachments, freedom from pain, freedom in the truest sense. But we restrict our own freedoms a lot of the time. Why? I don’t fully know yet as it differs from person to person. But one reason why I used to restrict my freedom is that it was to avoid pain. The pain of not knowing , the pain of being judged, the fear of not being accepted by others for opening up. But recently I’ve overcome that fear. I’ve stepped over that hurdle of fear. Because one thing I learned is that fear is nothing but the ego trying to seat itself in your head. And i quickly realized that by embracing pain into yourself that you become stronger. IT really showed me that i am stronger then I really am . And that is induces nothing but growth . So much to look back on as I evolve as a person as life goes on. I have a lot of growth to go but I don’t worry about the future. No point in trying to climb the whole staircase if your focused on the whole staircase. The only way to get up it is to take one . step. at. a . time. That’s how it all works no? everything is not one big movement or a big swoosh of something. it really is just a whole bunch of really small things working together in perfect harmony in order to make reality what it is. Well this writing got really deep. But that’s my specialty , being able to take very seemingly mundane things and extracting a very deep meaning out  of it. For example my friend Harvey just recently graduated from High School or what I call it ” Mental Prison” . I came over to his apartment and he had the flowers that he got from Grad and put them into his empty bottles of alcohol. And the thing that he said that really struck a cord with me is when he said , ” Finally those things have a use” . It was one of the most profound things I’ve heard in a while. maybe this is just me over analyzing thins but , The bottle represented his past life before the graduation. It was filled with a poisonous substance and then consumed in order to dull pain. And then after that it spent a long time being empty . Just sitting on the shelf having no purpose but to collect dust. But once his grad came along the bottle had a new purpose. It was used to hold the flowers , to be the vessel for something new, Life, new beginnings. I’m excited to see how Harvey will evolve as a person as he gets older and realizes there is a lot more to the world than high school. But hes a smart kid I’m sure he’s already starting to realize this anyways. I see him as a little brother to me. The way i approach my relationship with him is something i read a while ago that really stuck with me. “Be the person you needed when you were younger” . If I had someone like myself to mentor myself when I was younger who knows where I’d be by now. but then again I wouldn’t have the experience I do now from my previous experiences. I see a lot of myself in Harvey. He has unlimited creative potential he just needs that extra push to tell him to go for it. And I will be there to give him the kick start he needs. Anyways that’s all for today . Thanks for reading If your a reader stay tuned in for more of my personal insights about reality and my path to NIrvana.

Buddhacris signing out

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