Document it ALL…

First off happy new years to everyone this time of year marks new beginnings and another chapter in our journey. I usually take this time to reflect on my year and I take time to plan out how I want the year to go.

I’m starting to move toward the minimalist movement as I want to de-clutter my life as well as start keeping things and people around me that really matter and make me happy. I feel as if this year I’ve been chasing material objects to make me happy. I just wanted more and more THINGS and I just took a step back and realized that I was on a very self destructive path. I saw myself using people and loving things and for a moment I was so disgusted with myself that I’ve ended up like this. However this is how we grow. I could’ve kept on the path of hating myself and saying ” How could you do that?! , Your a horrible person , Why would you think like that?!” and so on….. But I like to live in balance with myself and I accepted that was who I was and made a conscious effort to change it for the better.

This year I want to create more, I want to help others create , and I want to empower people. I’m slowly becoming the best version of myself and I have a long and exciting journey ahead of me. I’ve met some really cool people and I’m going to meet a lot more. I’m going to get closer to achieving my goals. Through continual persistent effort. I will not give up . I will work from the Why of what I do instead of from the What I do. I’m going to connect to people and show them the true power they have within themselves. I’m going to reorganize my life and create my reality . I will make my dreams true and keep the vision very clear in my head. I will develop more as a person and create meaningful connections with people. I will become a city known a r t d e a l e r . I’ll figure out a way to host underground crazy art auction parties .

I’m going to deeply engrain myself into the art community in Calgary and become THE ROOT CHAKRA for all of Calgary. I will take in all the energy and keep it positive and flowing into the community. I want to unite the community in Calgary to truly unlock the exponential power of collaboration within people. That’s the value I will  bring to people. I also want to create a masterpiece of art in Calgary that will inspire generations of people to come. Even after im dead I want it to inspire and empower people. To truly become and Icon for people around the world. Not to benefit me but the community as a whole. I’m able to see now that by working just for yourself you don’t benefit anyone but yourself. However if you work for the community you ultimately end up growing yourself as well as others around you.

I’ll document everything. Everything that goes on in my life and my thoughts on it how it affects me. This will be the documentation of my life and my journey to Nirvana….whatever that is. I’m going to end the post with a vision board that I’m going to make that outline how I want 2018 to go and where I see myself going.

Stay Blessed, Stay Humble

Hardship & Heartbreaks

This is a hard topic for sure. Recently I’ve been through a lot and sometimes it gets to a point where I feel like giving up . To the point where I wonder why all this hardship and struggle lands on my back all the sudden. I go through so much mental strain from the world around me . And throw in the strain in my heart from cutting things off with someone , It feels like someone is squeezing my heart and making it struggle to pump. I fucking hate emotions sometimes.

I’m going to post some poetry to understand these emotions a little better I guess. Maybe I’ll look back at this blog when I’m older and see how far I’ve come.

Heart/Break

My heart breaks in two for you

you made me feel something

you revealed something

I buried long ago

& now I carry this weight

5 tons on my shoulders

Rocks in my heart like boulders

I loved you & I still do

I try to forget by focusing on putting bills through

your still there

still there

bury my mind at work

still there

still there….

These tears are heavy

each time they come I’m never ready

Its pain

My soul aches

I wish it was your face I saw when I wake

you brought me joy

like christmas morning to a little boy

Your presence was a present

and I never got sick of it

But this feeling was one way

I fall in love too fast

do you blame me?

I wish you the best

Thank you for everything.

 

Accompanying Art Piece 

I just got the idea to create an art piece for each piece of poetry . I feel like it really gives the art piece meaning and substance. Not just some pretty picture that looks nice. I feel like a lot of artists don’t do that . They just make a piece and its hard to peple to understand the artists point of view unless they are directly told. But I think good art should speak for itself. The artist doesnt have to be there. even if the artist is long dead , or missing. The message remains for others to understand. thats the power of it. To create an impact on people, to help people understand this crazy world we live in just a little better. To connect us through something we can all understand. To bring people together , to share laughs, sorrow, pain, joy, and everything life has to offer. Because we are all in this together. There’s no ” I ” or ” Me”. Just “Us ” and “We” .

Here is the art piece , I made it for the girl in the poem. She loved elephants and Peony flowers. This one’s for you E.C

Inner Balance

Starting to get settled into the research position now at the CDCI and the Taylor institute. One thing I really like about working here is that I have creative freedom to express myself. It’s really cool to be able to let my ideas flow from my mind and make them reality. I was thinking about that other day. Everything around me that is manmade was once an idea floating around in someone’s head and they made it a reality. Reminds me of a quote I saw before, the only difference between reality and dreams is action, also, the graveyard is the richest place on earth. I guess what these both mean is that everyone has good ideas no matter who you are. You may hear your inner voice tell you “No that’s not a good idea! “Or “Don’t do it, it’s too hard”. Each of us are our own worst critic, no matter what anyone says about your work or you, no one is as hard on you as yourself. However there is no bigger fan than yourself as well. I feel like everyone should strive for internal balance. We have so much going on in our everyday lives that we forget to turn our attention to ourselves. That’s what us so, unique as…. A human? Our sense of self-awareness. Nobody calls you out on your B.S more than yourself. Yeah I don’t know where I’m going with this. These are just my everyday thoughts. I feel like the whole office would benefit from a group meditation. Hell I’d run that. All in all I really like working here, plus free coffee and tea. I can’t really handle the coffee yet though lol. I was vibrating in my seat last time I drank it. Anyways that’s all for today.

P.S I’ve included an art piece I’ve done relating to inner balance. A little detail about the art piece. I was at a really low point in my life where I was drinking heavily just to dull the pain of not knowing what to do with my life and anxiety I felt from everything. I felt like I was drinking myself to death. But at that low point in my life is where I really found to accept and embrace both sides of myself and really begin to love myself. Only once I was able to do that was I able to balance out my inner workings of my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Buddhacris signing out